The Days Of Our Lives

 
Lately I've been hearing a lot about my friends (or their friends) being forced to marry as per their parents wishes even though they might already be in since-forever relationships. One would think this is the case in rural parts of our great nation, but it seems it is quite common in the hip-hop US-TV watching metro cities as well. Heres my take on the issue.

India is known to be a very traditional country. Traditional in the sense that the family structure is such that parents continue to be a major part of their children's lives who might well be in their late 20s. The concept of kids moving out of the house for college and then living away hasn't quite caught on. Especially for girls. In the many Subway-dinner discussions with my gal pals, I've found out that even lots of parents still support their kids financially even though the kids might be earning money of their own - the pocket-money system if you may. Some of these gal-pals of mine, even have to report their where-abouts almost on a hourly basis back home. Now I am not the one to fill ideas in the mind of others, hence, I don't really oppose any of this but I find it quite absurd. I've always felt being financially dependent on your parents still makes one a child. And, oh boy, don't parents love their children. Its like back in IIT days we used to say "Once a fresher, always a fresher!"

Coming back to the main topic, I was just trying to say that some parents have a hard time letting go of their "children". Some feel that their kids are still not grown up enough to make decisions of their own; that they have to be picked up from falling down. Better, they should be prevented from falling down in the first place. Hence, the righteous road is defined - the road which is safe. It might not be exciting or provide as much happiness as the other roads, but atleast it doesn't have any potholes; or so one thinks.

Hence the backward Generation W thinks that their daughters' boyfriends are wrong - no matter how right they might be. As long as the man, who your daughter gets to spend the rest of her life with, is not picked by you from a ocean of "eligible" bachelors, he is just not good enough. No matter if he is known to your daughter since the past 5-6 years. And, the one who is right can be recognised in a 5 minute speed-date-in-front-of-your-entire-family session. For some absurd reason, arranged marriages are still the in-thing in India. Parents getting to gloat in front of their friends that they picked the boy themselves is a pretty big thing, didn't you know.

Haha, all BULLSHIT! Come on Generation W, let go of your kids already. Should not one's destiny be laid out by his/her own self? Be one's own responsibility?

Generation W would ask "Oh, but what if my beti's (daughter's) decision is wrong?" What they don't realise is, how do they know for a fact that their decision would be right? I believe the best way to do something right, is to do it wrong once. I'm not thying to convey that one should choose the wrong guy initially! I'm just saying that if the guy is wrong, it would make a whole lot sense that the one who does suffer is the one who chose him and not her parents.

Also, the whole thing about differences in communities in India being a factor for choosing the groom - another bullshit! The problem here is, the people who think these things look at the small picture. Hello?! Globalization was here ages ago! People outside India wouldn't discriminate a Gujrati from a Rajput, why should we Indians? When will we look beyond these petty differences? When will we stop finding invisible faults in others? When will we stop being Generation W and finally grow up ourselves?  
This entry was posted on Friday, May 23, 2008 at 12:37 PM.